With the rapture headed our way tomorrow, Holy is wishing that he had opened a new business. For a non-refundable fee (does $1000 sound like a nice round number?), Holy will agree to pick up your pets and arrange for their care during the great tribulation.
Humor
May 20, 2011
July 28, 2010
Headline of the Day
This is some information that...oh, look! A lizard!
"How to Rebuild Your Attention Span and Focus"--headline, LifeHacker.com, July 27
Just reportin'
July 22, 2010
July 21, 2010
Quote of the Day
"Spare me from unloving critics and uncritical lovers."--The Right Reverend Doctor Tweedle, D. D. (while adroitly converting an 8-10 split).
July 18, 2010
Which Came First
One of the little slices of pleasure in Holyagnostic's life has been recently blemished. Scientist have announced that they now know the answer to one of the most prominent of the unanswered questions of life: "Which came first, the chicken or the egg."
Holy doesn't know much about the science involved, but here is the way the conclusions were described in the New York Daily News.
"It had long been suspected that the egg came first, but now we have the scientific proof that shows that in fact the chicken came first," said Dr. Colin Freeman, of Sheffield University's Department of Engineering Materials.
Researchers wrote in a recently published report that it all comes down to one protein - ovocledidin-17 - which helps in the formation of the egg's hard shell.
This essential ingredient in the formation of the egg can only be produced inside a chicken, scientists from universities in Sheffield and Warwick concluded.
The fun for Holy came from walking up to information booths at malls, interstate rest stops, or office towers and asking the age old question. The looks he gets!
Holy thinks he will change the interrogatory to, "Which came first, the chicken or the eggplant?"
April 13, 2010
As The Ham Turns
The wife of a prominent member of the stethoscopic community is the source of this true tale from the environs of Birmingham, Alabama. Names will be excluded to protect both the guilty and the innocent.
Chapter One
We start with a family whose older son is contemplating a career change in his 40's. He tells the source of this story that he has legally changed his carefully selected and beloved name to another that he prefers.
"And what might that new name be?" gulped Mother.
"Arlo," came the reply.
"What? You mean like Woody and Arlo Guthrie?"
"No, no! Not anything like that. I think the name will have built in advertising appeal for my legal career. Think about it. OUR FEES ARLO."
Chapter Two
It's Halloween night. Two grandchildren goblins are already perched at the kitchen table. They have a neighborhood goblin friend who has joined them to get last minute trick or treat instructions. Grandmother lived in a neighborhood where king sized pillow covers were needed to hold the volume of treats that would be theirs at night's end. None were ready for what was about to appear.
Twice divorced and single Young Son skips into the kitchen on his way to a Halloween party with date dressed as Wonder Woman. Every jaw in the room dropped and little goblin mouths dried up at the incredible ability of this creature to uh...fill out the uh...personality of her character.
Brief conversation begins that leads to the question, "What do you do?"
"I'm a pole dancer at the Furnace.
Silence in the room. Some mouths get drier.
"We better get going. We are fashionably late enough to the party already," said Young Son hoping to head off any further inquiries.
If this story were a "good news/bad news" joke, you, dear reader would think we had just observed the "bad news". THAT was NOT the bad news!
Chapter Three
A few weeks later, Wonder Woman, now fully clothed, and the youngest son of the Stethoscope family arrived for a surprise visit. The son got right down to business.
"Mom and Dad, may I introduce you to your new daughter-in-law and her two children?"
"Steady, steady..don't faint...", thought the parents who had already suffered through the son's failed real estate career, his stint as a charter boat captain, and was now the possessor of the finest pedigree of any carpet cleaner in Birmingham.
For the sanity of these poor parents, we hope that at last we have come to the bad news! Unbelievably, we have not.
Chapter Four
Dr. Stethoscope was already wondering if the newest adult member of the family would enliven the family celebrations with her stripping talents. Mrs. Stethoscope wondered if four could live on rugs, pole dancing and welfare. And both were curious about Wonder Woman's background and family.
"Tell us about your parents"
"Well", she paused for a moment before continuing, "my folks are living right now in Atlanta."
"Really. We have lots of friends in Atlanta because of going to school at Emory. Where in Atlanta is their home?"
"They are both residents of the Atlanta Federal Penitentiary."
And that was STILL the good news.
The BAD news came next. "They get out next week."
