There have been some wonderful additions to Holyagnostic's hacienda over the last few months. One of them was a new roof. The process for THAT addition has been a nightmare. Contractors, insurance company, mortgage holders, schedule juggling, vacation delaying, and herds of people who said they would do something and didn't are a few of the things that have peopled and propelled the last six months. It is not over yet.
One of the largest names in the banking business "services" Holy's mortgage. Last Friday, he had a fight with the tar baby that is their phone contact system. An innocent looking toll free telephone number in small print on the payment coupon opened the door of the rabbit hole into which Holy fell and wallowed for a solid hour. The reason for the call was to find out how to get an endorsement from them on the insurance check.
Here is a shorthand diagram of the events of an hour in telephone torture Hades.
Dial #, connection made with a computer voice offer to talk in Spanish.
Request for account #.
Account # keyed into system.
System got the account # wrong.
Spoke the account #.
Computer could not "read" voice to get the account #.
Began again
Punched "0" several times and said, "Holy wants to speak to person!"
Kelly becomes the first real live person to arrive on the line.
A couple of password questions to confirm Holy is the one talking to Kelly.
Transfer to Insurance Claims Department.
Got voice mail box message, "If you want immediate attention, call..." which took Holy to--
Another voice mail box message, "If you want immediate attention, call..." which took Holy to--
Another voice mail box message, "If you want immediate attention, call..." which took Holy to--THE VERY FIRST TELEPHONE NUMBER IN THE SEQUENCE! Talk about vicious circle!
Began again.
Connected to computer voice that proceeded to read the entire coverage of Holy's homeowner insurance policy.
Began again.
Got a person, Christie, who transferred Holy to the "correct" department.
Tomica comes on the line. She cannot hear Holy's responses. "I will stay on the line for two minutes as required when there is no response," she said as Holy yelled on the other end of the line.
Began again.
Computer voice, "Can't complete number as dialed." Holy's fingers were getting fatter while his blood pressure was getting higher.
Began again.
Finally got Summer on the line who promised Holy that she would not disconnect until there was a "live" person on the line in the correct department for providing the information desired.
At last, Rachel was on the line with instructions on how she would contact inspectors for my roof. Holy would need to sign a couple of affidavits and place them along with the insurance check to another wonderful organization of competence, the Postal Service.
When the bank gets all of that, Rachel said that the bank would endorse the check and return it immediately to Holy.
Wanna bet?
